You probably know Elisha has been on the job search for about a month now.
Naturally, this created a rollercoaster of emotions, conversations, and new thought-processes surrounding potentially moving away from the apartment we’ve called “home” our whole married lives (which hasn’t been super long . . . but is still dramatic, okay? 😉 ).
We haven’t always made decisions gracefully, or as a unified couple, but throughout this whole process Elisha and I have kept our visions aligned and felt like we had each other’s backs.
1. We Identified a List of What Was Important to Us in the New Season of Life
As big dreamers, Elisha and I are prone to talking about crazy life-changes . . . and I’m prone to acting on them. One thing that helped us clarify whether a job/move was a positive change–instead of simply “a change”– was to write down a list of all the things we’ve prioritized the last three years here in Bend, Oregon.
Then, we wrote down a list of all the things we currently prioritize.
Sure enough, our priorities had changed.
For the past three years we’ve prioritized freedom and flexibility, now suddenly, spontaneous trips with 2.5 children don’t sound as appealing as structure.
Being able to clearly see our priorities have changed, gave us peace knowing that we weren’t just recklessly desiring change.
Our lives have changed and it is time for our lifestyle to reflect those changes.
2. Let Circumstances Say “No”
It’s easy to rain on your spouse’s parade when they come up with some crazy idea. Sometimes this is a good thing. But we have found often, it’s healthier on our marriage when circumstances (and God) say “no,” instead of each other.
For instance, last year I really thought moving into a motorhome was a fantastic idea. Elisha thought so too–until I had the RV of our dreams pulled up on my computer 15 minutes after our brainstorming session.
“Katie, I was thinking more in a few months,” Elisha frowned. “We don’t even have all the money for this yet.”
“But it’s such a great deal! This RV is going to go fast!” I quickly laid out my financial plan, and told Elisha we could test drive it that afternoon.
Instead of saying no way, Elisha went with it, and it took 10 minutes of walking around that motorhome for me to agree with him it wasn’t the right timing for us.
Another time, Elisha started taking steps toward playing professional basketball in Europe . . . but you can listen to that story on the podcast.
In sum, Elisha and I found we stay much more unified if there’s a way to support each other’s dreams while the person works through them, instead of instantly saying all the reasons why their dream is stupid. Most times, if it is stupid, we talk ourselves out of it.
3. The Giant Five Filter
We love our Giant 5.
- Using our God-Given abilities to provide and minister
Chad Johnson, my dad, came up with this filter for decisions, and Elisha and I use it all the time.
This is just another way to safeguard against rash ideas that sound good in the moment but don’t align with our bigger vision.
We didn’t want to take any job that was going to be fulfilling for Elisha, but be hard on our marriage, his health, or our children. We didn’t want to move anywhere that would sabotage these areas either.
In the Bible, Lot, made a life-decision to move to Sodom and Gomorra for business and lifestyle that ended up costing him his family and nearly costing his faith.
All that said, even though this process has had it’s ups and downs, Elisha and I feel so confident God is leading us in a new direction. This new situation is going to have new challenges and hurdles, but we’re excited about the future, and excited to share it with you!
Hopefully this podcast encourages you as you make decisions as a couple! It felt good to finally to let the cat out of the bag on the podcast! If you tune in to hear about Elisha’s new job and where/when we are moving, maybe consider leaving us a review on Itunes! 😉
You guys are the best.
Elisha and Katie Voetberg