021: Cultivating Sibling Relationships

Elisha is the fourth born of 10 kids. I’m the eldest of 11.

We get asked a lot, “how did your parent’s cultivate your relationships with your siblings?” and now that we’re parents, we are asking the same questions!

We decided to go back and take a look at some of the biggest decisions our parents made to facilitate family relationships, and one thing is clear—the fact we have awesome sibling relationships is no accident.

A Few Things We Accredit Our Sibling Relationships To


Elisha: My Dad always gave us the bigger picture when conflict would arise.

Katie: We were homeschooled.

Elisha: Activities were never a way to isolate, but rather, something to bring us together.

Katie: We rarely did extra-curricular activities by ourselves.

Elisha: Family Business.

Katie: Dinnertime was protected.

When you think about it, relationships mainly form due to proximity. This happens with healthy romantic relationships, with affairs, with marriages, with friends . . . with siblings.

Yet in our culture everything is segregated. School, sports, activities, youth group, interests, friends. How are we supposed to be best friends with our siblings when we rarely see them?

On this episode of the Now That We’re a Family Podcast, we try to reverse engineer the intentionality of our parents and gain insight into why we developed these close family relationships, while keeping our individuality and owning our own values and Faith in Christ.

We might bring up more questions than we answer in this one, but our hope is that you are as encouraged as we were to think big picture. Parenting is a long-game, and we are so grateful to be given this incredible God-give role that requires us to lean into our Savior.

Learning with you,

Elisha and Katie Voetberg


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